Mar 12, 2008
Assorted Selection and Eliot Spitzer Jokes
11:25 PM | 
Posted by
Dave and Thomas
The Hooker with a MySpace Account! Meet Ashley Alexandra Dupre
As we sit here and laugh at New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer going down in flames after being busted by the Feds in a call girl sting we couldn't help but try to dig up some jokes on the guy. His call girl, named Ashley Alexandra Dupre, was a mid-level call girl in the establishment Spitzer used. She only runs around a $1,000/hr which makes us really want to see the top of the line models.
"As I'm sure you know by now, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has admitted that he was involved in a prostitution ring. Now this is the same man who when he was attorney general went after the prostitution ring. So apparently, it was for not giving him good service." --Jay Leno
"This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to a governor, I guess, since Arnold Schwarzenegger did 'Kindergarten Cop.'" --Jay Leno
"The really ironic thing about this case -- today, the hooker said Spitzer was done in a New York minute." --Jay Leno
"Do you ever notice politics is the only profession when a guy gets caught with a hooker, the wife has to stand by his side. You know, if this guy was a plumber and he got caught with a prostitute, he'd have his wife's SUV tire tracks over his head." --Jay Leno
"He went through this call girl thing. ... He was known as a regular customer. He was known as Client 9. It looks now like Client 9 will soon be looking for wife number 2." --David Letterman
"You know, I'm a half-full kind of guy. I always try to put a positive spin on stuff. Sure, it's a horrible story. On the other hand, you look at it this way, he was supporting New York's number one industry." --David Letterman
"I don't know about you, but when I heard about this scandal here's the first thing I thought. I said, 'Woah, there's another success for eHarmony.com.'" --David Letterman
"Client #9 deposited $4,300 into his account and then had a two-hour interlude with a prostitute name 'Kristen.' Which I think means he has two thousand dollars of credit left over. That'll come in handy -- with all the stress, he's gonna need to blow off some steam." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Spitzer held a brief press conference yesterday, where he apologized to his constituents and to his family. He didn't take any questions but retreated to the privacy of his home, where his wife repeatedly kicked him in the testicles." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Actually, she stood right next to him in the press conference. That is always amazing to me, how these guys get their wives to stand there and support them. ... I don't know what kind of zombie chow they put in these women's food, but it's mind-boggling. ... I don't want to rub it in to any of you visiting from New York, but here in California, our governor doesn't have to pay for sex. When he wants it, he takes it." --Jimmy Kimmel
~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman (source)
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